Rob Zombie's Lords Of Salem

L-Face · February 07, 2013, 02:02:12 AM

To me, the song posted above is exactly what's wrong with his movies. Terrible writing, incessant swearing (I should give him leeway on that since I swear like a sailor, but no) and overall blandness. That's not to say he was a musical genius before hand, but at least his older music had some enjoyment factor to them, which is more than I can say about any of his films.

Reign in Blood · February 07, 2013, 11:47:55 AM

Quote from: L-Face on February 07, 2013, 01:49:41 AM
Dunno, may be one of those errors Chuck was talking about.

If your curiosity gets the best of you. That's "Sick Bubblegum" Ugh.

I wasn't aware he did a Hellbilly Deluxe 2. Don't think I need to check it out now, though.

Chucky · February 07, 2013, 06:53:32 PM

Quote from: Crash Dummie on February 07, 2013, 01:43:42 AM
Edit: Why isn't the youtube tag working?

You have to make sure it is http:// instead of https:// when you link it, otherwise it won't work. You can probably get away with starting the link just with wwww. but I haven't tested that.

DeraiLer · February 08, 2013, 12:56:05 AM

Saw the title of this thread and figured "Hey, at least it aint a Halloween film, but after that trailer, I am gonna pass until reviews start coming in from people I trust.

L-Face · February 08, 2013, 03:35:11 AM

Well, last time I reviewed a Rob Zombie movie, I lost followers on DA along with some sanity. So it won't be me.

KennyThaKilla · March 18, 2013, 05:47:31 AM

Zombie report card:

House of 1000 Corpses: F
The Devil's Rejects: C
Halloween: F
Halloween II: FF (is that even possible?)

Needless to say, I don't hold out much hope that Lords of Salem is going to be any better. I think this is Zombie's last chance to break out of white trash mode, and if he doesn't, he could be facing the danger of being written off as a serious filmmaker. I hope you brought your A-game, Rob.

Pastor · April 29, 2013, 04:13:46 AM

I saw it today. I'd rather have Dee Wallace bludgeon me to death with a frying pan than ever watch it again.

KennyThaKilla · April 29, 2013, 05:02:18 AM

Watched it last night and had a hard time staying awake. What a pile of shiiiiit. This will be the last RZ movie I waste my time on.

If you liked the white pony symbolism bullshit from his Halloween movies, then you'll love this flick because that and long, boring scenes of inactivity are what it's mainly comprised of. Oh, and if you also like looking at full frontal nudity from a 64 year old, nasty, shriveled-up Meg Foster with dog titties AND full frontal from a bunch of fat old women while Rob's hot wife runs around teasing nudity that never pays off, then you'll have another reason to love this flick, if that's the kind of horror you're into.

Well, technically, Sheri Moon does give us some side boob and a nice shot of her ass, but it's nothing we haven't seen before in any of the other movies where RZ has teased us with the possibility of nudity from his wife so we'll continue to watch until the credits roll. Boring, played-out satanist plot devices and more of the same from a cock tease who's been teasing us for ten years is just not my bag, so it gets an F- from me.

Attention Rob Zombie:
STOP CASTING YOUR OLD LADY IN YOUR MOVIES.... oh, wait - I'm swearing off your movies from here on out, so I guess it doesn't matter. Do whateva.

Pastor · April 29, 2013, 12:24:37 PM

So many ass shots. There's a reason why her name is Sheri MOON lololololololo*gets run over by a fucking garbage truck*

Shadow · May 09, 2013, 01:50:00 PM

Quote from: KennyThaKilla on April 29, 2013, 05:02:18 AMI'm swearing off your movies from here on out, so I guess it doesn't matter. Do whateva.

Not sure why it's been taking people this long. I've boycotted his ass since I first heard he was messing around with a Halloween remake.

KennyThaKilla · May 09, 2013, 03:59:50 PM

I was cautiously optimistic when I first heard RZ was tackling a Halloween remake. If done the right way, by honoring the core elements that make Michael Myers who he is, it could have been epic. But instead, Rob basically shit in the face of every Halloween fan out there.

As far as Lords of Salem goes, I was hoping this would be the movie where he finally stepped out of the box. And in a way, I guess he did; it wasn't a Halloween remake, it wasn't a white trash House of 1000 Corpses sequel, but it still blew all the same. He had an opportunity to break from tradition and make a good movie, but instead pissed it all away by yet again casting his wife and ultimately making a movie that petered out in the third act. I gave him one last chance because he's Rob Zombie and I respect what he's done in the music industry. But due to one disappointment after another, he has unfortunately worn out his welcome with me.