Topics

I'm not ashamed to admit that I jizzed my pants a little....

I wanted very much to like this movie. After all, Slash is listed as one of the producers (more than likely an honorary title) and it would've been nice if he could have shown Rob Zombie how to make a legitimate horror film. Sadly, although better than an RZ flick, Slash (or more than likely the director, Anthony Leonardi III) doesn't have much to brag about here. The story is reminiscent of Children of the Corn and the effects are a direct rip-off of The Ring. Not a bad combination, if they could have just kept the story coherent.

It has it's bright spots, but ultimately falls flat thanks to an unsatisfying ending. Heavy CGI and a story that goes nowhere is definitely horrific, just not in a good way. Not unwatchable, but the best thing about this film was the haunting theme song performed by Slash and Myles Kennedy as the end credits roll. Soundgarden would be proud.


5/10

Yesterday, Clive Barker posted this message on his Facebook wall....

HOT FROM HELL!

My friends, I have some news which may be of interest to you. A few weeks ago I had a very productive meeting with Bob Weinstein of Dimension Pictures, in the course of which I pitched a remake of the first HELLRAISER film. The idea of my coming back to the original film and telling the story with a fresh intensity - honoring the structure and the designs from the first incarnation but hopefully creating an even darker and richer film - was attractive to Dimension.

Today I have officially been invited to write the script based upon that pitch. What can I tell you about it? Well, it will not be a film awash with CGI. I remain as passionate about the power of practical make-up effects as I was when I wrote and directed the first HELLRAISER. Of course the best make-up in the world loses force if not inhabited by a first-rate actor. I told the Dimension team that in my opinion there could never be a Pinhead without Doug Bradley, and much to my delight Bob Weinstein agreed.

So once the papers are signed, I will open a Lemarchand Configuration, dip my quill in its contents and start writing. I promise that there will be nowhere on the Internet where the news of my progress will be more reliable than here, because the only author of these reports will be Your Infernal Corespondent, me. My very best wishes to you all, my friends.

Clive.

I'm not a fan of remakes.

Michael Bay butchered Freddy and Jason in their respective films, and don't even get me started on the Rob Zombie debacle that was Halloween 1 and 2. Having said that, there are some exceptions; John Carpenter's The Thing, Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead, Tom Savini's Night of the Living Dead, just to name a few.

While I'm not claiming this remake will be of the same caliber as the aforementioned films, this news is definitely intriguing, considering this will be a remake by Clive himself and Doug Bradley will be reprising his role as Pinhead... something the stiffs over at Platinum Dunes dropped the ball on regarding Robert Englund and Kane Hodder. Clive's smart enough to know that when you're making a film for a well-established fanbase, you give the fans what they want... and they want Doug Bradley. *Hear that, Bay?*

Also encouraging is Clive's promise to stick to practical effects over CGI. Can't wait to see how he'll tear our souls apart this time.

"We have such sights to show you... "

But we have. And now it's here.


I'm really hoping this is the season that little prick Joffrey gets his.

A teenage girl is brutally murdered, sparking a hunt for her killer. But in a town where everyone hides a secret, will they find the monster among them?

I was diggin' this until the wolf reveal at the end. So tired of shows that puss-out and give us normal looking wolves instead of the traditional half man/half wolf/all beast werewolves. True Blood, Vampire Diaries, and now this. Fido is nothing to fear - do it right or don't do it at all, bitches....

Still, setting that aside, the transformation looked decent, Famke Janssen could still be my Jean Grey any day of the week, and the trailer overall does look good. Cautiously optimistic.