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Topics - Crash Dummie

I'm not a bad ass or a tough guy by any means.

But I am 6'3", 195 pounds, and I could probably maybe win a fight against someone smaller and weaker. What if that someone was a celebrity?

I love the guy, but I think I'd have to give Johnny Depp a good beating for hurting me when he did "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". Not really sure if I'd win, but I'd at least give him a good fight.
Other Movies / Non horror scares
June 13, 2013, 04:05:49 AM
Plenty of horror movies have good scares. It's kind of their trade.

But what about those times you got scared watching a movie from any other genre? I feel sometimes those might work even better,and you usually don't expect them at all.

I can remember a few good examples, such as Bilbo lunging at Frodo for the Ring, in the first LOTR film, with his bulgy eyes and sharp teeth for just a moment. I was 12, and it doesn't have any effect on me now, but did I ever jump out of my theatre seat.

The one that recently struck me the most was in Reservoir Dogs, when Mr. Blonde tortures the cop with a straight razor. Nothing prepared me for this, and his cold hearted glee while dancing and cutting the poor dude to a Beatles song (EDIT: that ain't a Beatles song) left me breathless and mortified for the duration of the scene.

What about you all?
Other Movies / Drive
June 08, 2013, 01:51:06 AM

(2011, directed by Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn, starring Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston, Oscar Isaac, and Albert Brooks)

Anyone else has seen this movie? I heard that the game "Hotline Miami" was based on it, so I went ahead and bought the bluray.

Holy shit. It skyrocketed into my favorite movies of all time just like that. I loved "Bronson" by the same director, but I figuratively blew my load over Drive. Everything from the soundtrack, direction, actors, dialogues (or lack there-of) screams kick ass cult classic.

The best way I could describe this movie is an artsy "The Transporter". It's quiet and beautiful, but the few times violence does happen, it has so much impact it leaves your jaw dropped.

This film also made me a Ryan Gosling fanboy. I want to be him. I turn only 86% straight when he's on screen.

Then a 120% when Christina Hendricks appears.


Thoughts? Opinions?
Video Games / What's the latest game you've bought?
March 13, 2013, 12:33:25 AM
I buy tons of games, and usualy don't touch half of them for a long time, if ever. So let's do this!

5 years or so after te hype, now that prices are down, I jumped on an oportunity like a vulture jumps on a rotting carcass.

I've bought Rock Band 2 and 3 for the Wii. The worst possible versions, yes! With the full instruments kit.

The only things missing from the Wii versions are the Story modes, and the good graphics. And really, I couldn't give a shit about those. I'll playing it at parties, looking a colored pegs scroll down. I'll also get to Karaoke on "Werewolves of London" without any shame whatsoever.
Random Bullshit / Crash's Artsy Farts
February 26, 2013, 07:03:30 AM
I will post random stuff I draw or create here. Since I am a hopeless narcissist, it will mostly be about me.


Adrian Birdy. What?

Random Bullshit / The Gentlemen's Shaving Club
February 08, 2013, 05:38:51 AM
Why do I care about this? First, I'm bored. Two, for me, shaving went from being a necessary boring and painful chore to a fun and manly hobby.

I used to shave with a Mach 3 and canned goop. The blades often tugged and irritated my skin, leaving me with bad razor burn. Then reddit taught me about traditional wet shaving.

That's the kind of shaving where you need:

A brush,

a soap,

and (in my case) a DE razor.

With blades like this:

There was a definite leaving curve, but after I figured out how to do it properly, I was left with smoother skin, no more razor burn, and more money in my pockets due to the blades costing next to nothing. The initial start up price is higher, but you end up saving a lot.

Scott "Lionheart" Blevins
Tiny and insane Scott Blevins is an expert in something he thinks is called "Maui Thai" and claims to have been trained by "Renzin" and "Rocky" Gracie in Virginia. This is notable because there are so many Gracies that teach jiu-jitsu that it's actually sort of an achievement to make up two names and not accidentally pick a real one. He also claimed that the UFC signed him to compete in their 135-pound division. Please don't demean Google by checking to see if that exists.

Seanbaby rules.
Video Games / OUYA
February 06, 2013, 07:02:26 AM

Anyone is thinking of buying this one? Its kickstarter campain is one of the fastest rising ever, and it does look really sexy.

However, the launch titles lineup seems really, REALLY weak so far. I want to preorder it, but I'll wait and see a little longer.
Video Games / Games you love that everyone else hates
February 06, 2013, 04:28:56 AM
Title says it all. Are there any games that are considered to be awful by the majority of people that you enjoy anyway? If so, why? Stories of personal bias are always interesting. I'll start.

Friday the 13th (NES)

This probably comes as no surprise to anyone. Jason is my favorite horror character despite my better judgement, and I based my avatar on the sprites from the video game.

Everyone shits on this game. AVGN ripped it 10 new assholes in one of his early reviews. People complain about how hard it is to kill Jason, the fact that he's been colored purple, the confusing map, the slow camp counselors, the "Jason Alarm", the rock that flies into an arc over the head of the enemies.

I say bullshit, these guys never took the time to learn how to play the game. Sure, any well designed game should be easy to learn (yet tough to master), and I'm not claiming Friday the 13th is without any flaws. It WAS an LJN game after all, and most likely a quick cash in, but there are some brilliant ideas in the not so perfect execution.

The only choice they made I won't defend is Jason's color. It looks off, and they probably only did it because it's a children's game, and a rotting zombie would have turned them off. Well, why make a game bout a murderer then? Just color him like he should be. I did it.

Let's talk about the counselors. Many people complain that only two of them, Mark and Chrissy, are useful. While that's true, I see it as an accurate portrayal of the movies. Mark and Chrissy would likely be the leading, surviving couple, and the other ones the stupid, out of shape counsellors who get slaughtered by Jason.

When you get in the cabins (which are easy to naviguate, unlike most people claim) however, every counselor fight the same, so they're on equal grounds when they're inside, and that's where you'll spend most of your time fighting Jason. Just make sure you kill a few Zombies with everyone, in front of a cabin so you can retreat, until they have a knife of machete, which are miles better than the rocks,and you're good to go.

But what if the Jason alarm rings, and you have to save a counsellor who's far away while you're controlling a slow character? Most people don't know this; you enter any small cabin (should take 10 seconds at most), push start, and select the character who's being attacked to directly fight Jason.

Jason isn't so hard by the way, like every Punch-Out!! bad guy, you just have to learn his pattern, dodge well and counter-attack.

The map makes perfect sense.

When you're in the bottom part, you push right, you go right. Notice how it curves and the pathway is essentially a big circle? That's why your character goes left when you push right at the top of the map, stop complaining.

There are also a mulitude of secret areas and weapons to find. They're high risk/high reward, and completely optional. You can naviguate the woods, though it's easy to get lost/killed, and hope to find Jason's house and a powerful weapon inside. You don't have to do it, and it's supposed to be hard, yet people bitch about it.

You can also go in the caves, and find the shrine where Pamela Voorhees' head lies. Yeah, it comes to life, flies around and is hard to kill, but you get special weapons and armor from her. Who cares if her head wasn't alive in the films, it's a video game.

And last but not least, it's one of the few NES games that have a sense of genuine tension. Jason can be anywhere in the map, stalking you, and you never see him until he's right up your face. You know what other game did it? Slender, and everyone was spooked by it.

If it sounds like I'm saying that it's the greatest game ever, believe me, I'm not. The game is repetitive, unbalanced, sometimes clunky and a lot more could have been done with it, but taken for what is is, I'll say it's a very interresting, and partially successful early attempt in the survival horror genre.
Music / Unknown albums that should be known
February 06, 2013, 01:29:07 AM
AKA the "I'm not a hipster!!!" thread.

I'll start with Life'll Kill Ya, by Warren Zevon.

Now in his 50s, sober for about 15 years and coming back from a 5 years studio break, Zevon brings us this masterpiece of a little album. The arrangements are very sparse, but it works in the favor of every songs, since the compositions are so good.

Warren brings us a very dark, but also very humorous and self-deprecative set of songs about aging and mortality, and accepting your past mistakes, flaws and death at the end of the day.

The album was recorded in 2000. Almost two years before being diagnosed with lung cancer. His two subsequent albums, "My Ride's Here" (the ride in question being a hearse) and "The Wind", where he definitely knew he was dying and wanted to go out with a bang, are also good, but in my opinion, "Life Will Kill Ya" is his magnum opus.

This guy is known only for "Werewolves of London", which is best described as a stupid song for smart people, that was written as a joke in 15 minutes. He deserves to be known for a LOT more. He probably the best lyricist of his generation.